Sunday, August 29, 2010

Stepping up

A poem from the Golden Book of Reconstruction Letters...

Builders for Eternity
“Isn’t it strange that princes and kings,
And clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
And common folk like you and me,
Are builders for eternity?
To each is given a bag of tools,
A shapeless mass, and a book of rules;
And each must make, ere life is flown,
A stumbling block or a stepping stone.”
--Author Unknown

$10 to anyone who might know where I found this...or just keeping reading I'll shamefully tell you!

So, it's almost a new day and Marli is coming in the morning, so really, I can attempt to sleep during my massage. Yeah, I know. What do I have to complain about? Well, maybe we'll both figure that out along the way. Just realized I'm writing this as if I have an audience, which is funny, but I think it's more a cry for help...also, kind of funny. 

I saw this tonight when reading the bios for The Real Housewives of DC. It's from Lynda's profile and I love it. Let's back track and take note that not only do I watch the show, but I read their blogs. Yes, I have that kind of spare time. It is honestly disgusting, but I don't know how to knit and I know enough Portuguese to get what I want ... and manage to walk my way through a car accident at the Policia Federal ... so, this is my new hobby, I guess.

Back to the case you missed the obviousness, I'm trying to make this experience a stepping stone and stop counting the days until we get back to our "real life," which by the way, was about 180 degrees different than now, because we have a one year old and all! But, I digress. Again. Get used to it.

I know that my little family needs me to be stronger, so that's what I feel inspired to do at oh, 1 AM. I love this poem and I don't want to lose it. I need to have something to show for this experience and since I've been the worst mom ever and haven't gotten past day 13 of my documenting Elle's life in a photo book, or kept up with monthly letters or even a blog, I'm going to stop feeling guilty and be proud that I have an almost weekly account of the past year...with only about the first 3 months (which were a blur anyway!) missing. 

So, back to stepping up. I love to make other people feel good, so going to start with birthdays and sending cards. Making other people feel good makes me feel good and that is step one for getting out of this hole. That and planning a memorable birthday for (me) for Elle's 1st birthday. In 6 days. SIX DAYS. I will have a 1 year old. 

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